Getting Married Young | What I Have Learned
I got married to my husband at the age of 19.
June 22nd, 2014, we made the commitment to spend the rest of our lives together. The day I married my husband, I had no idea that following my heart would bring me to this spot.
So where am I? Physically I am in Chicago, but I am referring to my marriage, not my address. After 4 years of marriage, we are exactly where God wants us to be. No, my marriage is not perfect, my husband is not perfect, and we don't live in harmony all the time. You cannot expect a perfect marriage from imperfect people; it is impossible.
Here is the raw truth:
My marriage and my life will always be flawed.
That's it. I don't expect to find some magic way to make my marriage perfect. But even through all the flaws, there is so much good.
When I got engaged, everyone was skeptical, and I must admit at the beginning of my relationship with my husband I was skeptical. I was never an advocate of getting married young--to be truthful, I am still not an advocate of it. But I am a skeptic when it comes to any marriage because marriage is a gamble for most. Because we rely on something that is also flawed.
Yes, love is flawed, and being in love means very little when it comes to making a decision to bind yourself to another person. Because if you only count on your desire to keep you committed to each other, then you are bound to fail. You cannot love your spouse at all times; you will fall out of love and forget what it is that made you so crazy about each other and suddenly all you can think about is what drives you crazy about them. Your emotions and feelings will morph and develop over time into something new. I have found this new kind of love to be something even more precious. I want to compare our marriage to a garden. It starts small as a seed but as we choose to put things in that feed our relationship we continue to grow stronger and deeper. In my life I have to put God in everyday. He is what will grow my marriage into something that will withstand all of the storms. He will also help me see what need pruned in me, not just show me what needs pruned in my husband. God’s love for me and my love for Him will help me to keep my commitment to Isaiah even when I don’t feel in love with Him.
I know my marriage is where I am meant to be even on the days when it doesn't feel like it's where I want to be. This life I am living, the people I meet and even the simple things like watching my garden grow. All these things in this life, have shown me that this is where I am meant to be.
Now does this make things easy? Let's get real, people are hard and spending an entire lifetime with another person will not be easy. But what makes things a little easier, for me at least, is knowing that no matter what we go through, how hard things get and no matter how many times he drinks the last La Croix, it’s all more loving and straightforward knowing that this guy is where I am meant to be.
I love you, Isaiah, thanks for being here with me.
Sorry you have so little closet space.